How Weiner’s Penis Says More About his Manhood Than He Cares to Admit: A Dick Translation

Vote for me. I’ve changed. Don’t ask when. It’s not your concern. I care so much about representing you that I will mock and dispute anything close to fact. I’m so human I appear inhumane.

There’s something to be said for retail politics. Selling yourself to the voting block in as personal a form as possible.

But running for office on a platform of mercy, while calling repeated sexual indiscretions “the past” without owning when the past became so, has angered voters that demand more from the potential mayor of New York City.

The timeline matters.

“Every day since this has happened, I’ve tried to become a better person, a husband that Huma deserves and as good a father as I can be. And I’ve explored every way to try to do those things and I’m committed to continuing on that path.” – People Magazine, July 2012; Weiner allegedly continued to evolve as a human being while sexting strangers through November 2012

Anthony Weiner understands this, his campaign team surely more so. Their attempts to steamroll forward anyway, to cast his predilections as something of “long ago” without disclosing exactly when he actually stopped his preferred mode of sexual exhibition, is unacceptable, and dismissive to voters.

I have expectations for politicians asking for my vote. I expect that what, and how, they represent themselves in the public spotlight will become only more clear in the days following the election. To demand retribution for acts that he in fact continued months after resigning from Congress, including during a PR blitz to people (and People) meant to restore his image, is to say his demand for another chance is a Second Coming (ahem) I’d rather not witness. And one he no longer deserves.

Anthony Weiner is a dick. That’s not a game ender alone. But his willful disgust with the public’s apprehension for an alarming lack of control surely is.

From the start, Weiner’s mayoral campaign seemed one of absolution. But what he now seems frantic to absolve is any mark of respect for the people he once gave a shit about representing.

Weiner is making quite clear the only thing he cares about is making this election into the longest, crudest political joke I care to prolong.

Mr. Weiner, you’ve been caught with your pants down.

There’s not much left to see.

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